How Awkward are Socks

Has anyone else ever noticed how awkward socks are to take off? Now I'm not talking about taking them off just everyday, I'm talking specifically when you are about to do the dirty with someone. There is never any problem ripping off tops or jeans, or boxers, or any other layer of clothing in a matter of minutes. But when it comes to the dreaded socks, its like you need a whole 2 minutes to your self just to bend down and pull each of those darn things off.

So the question arises... do you just leave the socks on, or pause the ravishing moment just to bother with the two cotton garments covering your toes?

But honestly, do the socks really make that much of a difference? Obviously you have to have the pants off for intercourse to take place, but the pants are the only thing. People can easily have sex with shirts on. It doesn't matter. So where does the "socks off the feat" necessity come in?

I for one say leave the socks on. Unless you need the extra leverage of bare feet, who fricken cares.

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Sex So Good it Disturbs the Neighbors

Ivy lives is what is considered a condo, and she has one wall that shares with the most obnoxious people I have ever heard. This couple does nothing but get drunk and fight with each other... ALL THE TIME.

And when I say fight, I mean this bitch is screaming at the top of her lungs. Last night, at one point she just flat screamed for a good 30 seconds. I mean screamed. Not screaming words. Just a screaming noise. Out of the 3-4 nights a week I stay at Ivy's, I hear them fight probably half the time, if not every time i'm there. We have debated calling the cops several times, but don't want to cause any "bad blood" between us ya know? I figure one day, maybe one of the other neighbors will call the cops. Then we won't have to worry anymore.

Ivy and I were watching tv on the couch when things just started to get hot and heavy. I'm not one that really cares where sex happens, and she isn't either, and since Ivy doesn't have roommates, we didn't move to the bedroom. About halfway through this sweaty couch session, I could now hear the obnoxious bitch next door banging on the wall and screaming some crap about us going to bed. I was like, "WTF?" We listen to that bitch scream all night every night, and now she hears us having some awesome sex through the wall and she has the nerve to get pissed at us? FUCK OFF, was my thoughts. She's just jealous that all her and her man do is fight, and we actually get it on.

Knowing that she could hear us, and that it was pissing her off, just made me want to keep going forever and make sure Ivy got louder and louder. Shit, I'm not a noise maker when it comes to sex, but I almost started in on the moaning as well!

Do you think it would have been wierd, or hilarious if I started yelling, "Hold on, hold on. Almost finished, almost finished!!"

I think it would have been hilarious!!

Nabbing That First Kiss

On the drive home from work yesterday, one of the radio stations I listen to was talking about first dates and if they should involve kissing. It was interesting to hear all the people who called in and gave their opinions. It seemed that a lot of guys were calling in saying they didn't kiss on the first date out of respect for the women. And then a lot of women were calling in saying they wanted a kiss on the first date. I'm not sure if guys were just calling in to sound nice and gain some points or something, but this is how I feel about this whole thing.

I can easily call myself a kissing whore. I can go out and find a woman who I don't think is attractive, but yet still end up sucking face with her later that night. 99% of the time, I have been the one who makes the move for the first kiss. It has never mattered to me whether it was the first date, or the fifth. If I feel like kissing you, I'm going to do it. If you reject me, that's your call, but I'm not going to be mad about it. Maybe you just weren't ready. But again, I'll let the woman make that call.

I feel like the guys who were saying, "I don't kiss on the first date out of respect for the woman", are the same guys who are going to end up ordering the woman's meals for her when they go out. Who ever told you that you need to make a decision for a woman?
Maybe she wants to kiss you really bad, but is just too afraid to make the first move. Don't take it upon yourself to decide what is best for the relationship. What if the girl moves in to kiss you? Are you going to deny her because you are trying to "respect" her?

This is why people have so many problems with dating these days. Everyone is trying so hard to not make previous mistakes and trying to figure out what the other person wants, that they forget dating involves you as well. What about what you want? You should always take care of yourself first when it comes to the beginning of any relationship. I mean let's be honest here, if you like someone and want to talk to them, go talk to them. Do you expect them to just come talk to you? Not always gonna be the case. Make the move. Go for it. Have some courage. What's the worst that happens... they say no (in some fashion).
You can't be scared of rejection. Everyone likes confidence. The more confident you are with yourself and your actions, the more comfortable someone else is going to be with what is happening.
If I timidly try to kiss a girl, chances are the kiss isn't going to be great and she isn't going to want another.

When a person thinks about themselves in the beginning of a relationship, it shouldn't be mistaken as just being selfish. You are both trying to figure out if this is something that could go somewhere am i right? So why would you neglect everything that is important to you, just so that you become the "perfect match" for the other person. That person has to be a perfect match for you also. Respect shouldn't be misconstrued as taking control of a relationship. Respect is being considerate of the other person's feelings and opinions.

Enough jibberish... If you have a chance to kiss someone, just go for it.

Awkward Sex Moments

Today, the absolutely hilarious girl over at Was that Awkward put up a Thieving Thursday story that was mine! Check it out! Also be sure to follow her. She has some of the most outrageous stories I have ever heard.

Well, I'm going to follow that story up with another awkward sex moment I had this past year. In my "Post Birthday" Post, I mentioned towards the end that I had a nice make out session with a girl and quietly said she didn't sleep with me that night. I think it's time to fill y'all in on why.

After the hot tub and hanging out some in the living room, I grabbed Clover (she had a 4 leaf clover tattoo that I saw briefly) and pulled her into my room, pressed her up against the door, and had a very solid make out session. She shut the door and took my shirt off. I then toss her on the bed and we each take turns taking off a layer of clothing.

Now, like most awkward stories, this particular story has a slight contributor to the awkwardness. Earlier that day, I couldn't figure out how to turn the heat down, so instead I just opened the window in my room. Like in idiot, I forgot to close the window, and now that it was like 1am, it was fricken freezing in that room. And for me, I notice the cold fairly quickly.

As I'm standing over Clover naked, I begin to get the chills and shake slightly. She points out my shaking, and I tell her I'm just getting cold. She offers to help and then rolls me over so she is now on top. The sex has not started, but at this point it was clear its going to happen. We start fooling around a little when I noticed I still have the chills. I begin to over think this, and worry she thinks I'm not really cold, but nervous about having sex with her. And then it really started... I started getting nervous about getting nervous.

Clover says, "You are still shaking". I look at her and say, "Stop worrying about it". Now if you knew me in real life, you would know that I am normally a loud person. When I've been drinking, I'm at a completely other level; I'm really loud. Since this girl had just met me, she was unaware of this, and instinctively thought I was yelling at her. Her response, "Well you don't have to yell at me". Clover rolls off of me and just lays there for a second. I tried to salvage the situation by dropping my tone very low and telling her I was sorry, I wasn't yelling, I was just saying, and it came out really loud. My efforts were not successful and hence Clover decided it was best for her to say good night and go to her room, so she did.

So there you go. My shot at birthday sex this past year was ruined by the damn cold, and the drunken nerves of getting nervous.