What Do You Want From Me?

Monday I got a call from an ex girlfriend, and not just any ex, but THE EX.

I haven't talked about her at all on this blog, because things had ended before I started writing. But this particular ex, Elisa, we my college sweetheart. We dated for 3 years, and when we broke up, it was an absolute mess of a break up. She dated another guy for about 10 months and he was a psycho!  I know that he would hit her because she would call me up every couple months, drunk, after they had had a big fight, and tell me thing s he had done. Or maybe he never really did hit her, because she was pretty much a pathological liar. I know this when we were together. She would lie about everything, and towards the end, I started to catch the lies, and then I started to not trust her, and I eventually told her I didn't trust her and that I couldn't be with someone I didn't trust. But I think this guy made things worse, and sometime I think he some how brain washed her.

After her and this guy broke up, she started calling me again because I was the only one who would answer. She had lost every friend she had because of this guy, and she knew I would answer and listen to her. I love this girl. Always have, and always will. We started to get closer again over the next few months and hooked up a few times, but never started dating again.

The guy she had been dating moved to Texas, and last January, she decided she missed him and moved down there with him. I wasn't sure what was happening between us, but I knew I still loved her, and it really hurt for her to just up and leave for that guy again. After that, I dated a few girls, and eventually got serious with one girl. But there was a huge problem. I had a girlfriend who I really liked, but Elisa was really good at calling me every 3 months when she was first with this guy, and just like clock work, she called me 3 months after she moved to Texas. It was like she was always trying to keep me on a hook. And let me tell you, it worked. Because although I really liked this girl, I always knew, and could even admit to myself, that if Elisa came back, I would drop my current girlfriend in a heart beat,

I haven't heard from Elisa in a very long time till Monday, but just like every other time she has called, it brings me back to every memory we ever shared. 3 years is a WHOLE LOT of memories. I swear, the past 2 days, I've heard this song like 12 times...

I hate how something so simple like a phone call can bring feelings back. I don't know if I will ever truly be over this girl, but maybe. I just kinda hurt again and I don't really know why. I know she's not good for me, but a part of me still wants her back and wants to relive everything I shared with her. There really isn't a place in Colorado that doesn't remind me of her. I used to feel like the only way I was going to forget was if I got away from here, and Monday phone call brought that idea back into my head.

Is it really possible to get over someone by covering up and writing over memories, or is the only way to start fresh where there are no memories at all?

Nabbing That First Kiss

On the drive home from work yesterday, one of the radio stations I listen to was talking about first dates and if they should involve kissing. It was interesting to hear all the people who called in and gave their opinions. It seemed that a lot of guys were calling in saying they didn't kiss on the first date out of respect for the women. And then a lot of women were calling in saying they wanted a kiss on the first date. I'm not sure if guys were just calling in to sound nice and gain some points or something, but this is how I feel about this whole thing.

I can easily call myself a kissing whore. I can go out and find a woman who I don't think is attractive, but yet still end up sucking face with her later that night. 99% of the time, I have been the one who makes the move for the first kiss. It has never mattered to me whether it was the first date, or the fifth. If I feel like kissing you, I'm going to do it. If you reject me, that's your call, but I'm not going to be mad about it. Maybe you just weren't ready. But again, I'll let the woman make that call.

I feel like the guys who were saying, "I don't kiss on the first date out of respect for the woman", are the same guys who are going to end up ordering the woman's meals for her when they go out. Who ever told you that you need to make a decision for a woman?
Maybe she wants to kiss you really bad, but is just too afraid to make the first move. Don't take it upon yourself to decide what is best for the relationship. What if the girl moves in to kiss you? Are you going to deny her because you are trying to "respect" her?

This is why people have so many problems with dating these days. Everyone is trying so hard to not make previous mistakes and trying to figure out what the other person wants, that they forget dating involves you as well. What about what you want? You should always take care of yourself first when it comes to the beginning of any relationship. I mean let's be honest here, if you like someone and want to talk to them, go talk to them. Do you expect them to just come talk to you? Not always gonna be the case. Make the move. Go for it. Have some courage. What's the worst that happens... they say no (in some fashion).
You can't be scared of rejection. Everyone likes confidence. The more confident you are with yourself and your actions, the more comfortable someone else is going to be with what is happening.
If I timidly try to kiss a girl, chances are the kiss isn't going to be great and she isn't going to want another.

When a person thinks about themselves in the beginning of a relationship, it shouldn't be mistaken as just being selfish. You are both trying to figure out if this is something that could go somewhere am i right? So why would you neglect everything that is important to you, just so that you become the "perfect match" for the other person. That person has to be a perfect match for you also. Respect shouldn't be misconstrued as taking control of a relationship. Respect is being considerate of the other person's feelings and opinions.

Enough jibberish... If you have a chance to kiss someone, just go for it.

Awkward Sex Moments

Today, the absolutely hilarious girl over at Was that Awkward put up a Thieving Thursday story that was mine! Check it out! Also be sure to follow her. She has some of the most outrageous stories I have ever heard.

Well, I'm going to follow that story up with another awkward sex moment I had this past year. In my "Post Birthday" Post, I mentioned towards the end that I had a nice make out session with a girl and quietly said she didn't sleep with me that night. I think it's time to fill y'all in on why.

After the hot tub and hanging out some in the living room, I grabbed Clover (she had a 4 leaf clover tattoo that I saw briefly) and pulled her into my room, pressed her up against the door, and had a very solid make out session. She shut the door and took my shirt off. I then toss her on the bed and we each take turns taking off a layer of clothing.

Now, like most awkward stories, this particular story has a slight contributor to the awkwardness. Earlier that day, I couldn't figure out how to turn the heat down, so instead I just opened the window in my room. Like in idiot, I forgot to close the window, and now that it was like 1am, it was fricken freezing in that room. And for me, I notice the cold fairly quickly.

As I'm standing over Clover naked, I begin to get the chills and shake slightly. She points out my shaking, and I tell her I'm just getting cold. She offers to help and then rolls me over so she is now on top. The sex has not started, but at this point it was clear its going to happen. We start fooling around a little when I noticed I still have the chills. I begin to over think this, and worry she thinks I'm not really cold, but nervous about having sex with her. And then it really started... I started getting nervous about getting nervous.

Clover says, "You are still shaking". I look at her and say, "Stop worrying about it". Now if you knew me in real life, you would know that I am normally a loud person. When I've been drinking, I'm at a completely other level; I'm really loud. Since this girl had just met me, she was unaware of this, and instinctively thought I was yelling at her. Her response, "Well you don't have to yell at me". Clover rolls off of me and just lays there for a second. I tried to salvage the situation by dropping my tone very low and telling her I was sorry, I wasn't yelling, I was just saying, and it came out really loud. My efforts were not successful and hence Clover decided it was best for her to say good night and go to her room, so she did.

So there you go. My shot at birthday sex this past year was ruined by the damn cold, and the drunken nerves of getting nervous.

The Power of a First Kiss

I have come to the conclusion that every girl has their own taste.

Now let's not get dirty here... although I do love crude humor!

I'm talking about the way a person tastes when you kiss them. Not every mouth tastes very refreshing. For me anyway, your taste is definitely something that plays a factor in if i'm going to kiss you again. It plays into the spark ya know. We might have had the hottest, most passionate kiss on the planet. But if your mouth tastes like a jar of old pennies... deals off sweetie. Sorry.

Perhaps I just have stronger scents of taste then others, but I guarantee that if you blindfolded me, lined up a handful of woman from my life, (let's say ex girlfriends), I could tell you who each one of them are by just kissing them (assuming I have kissed them in the past).


This is why I love the anticipation of a first kiss. I don't think that anyone can down play the power of a first kiss. You all know that there has been someone in your life who you thought was super attractive, and you just wanted to jump their bones. And when it finally happened that you got your hands on them, they pressed their lips to yours, you stood there for a minute and then thought...
"WTF WAS THAT?!?!?!" Immediately turned off.

I once dated a girl who was absolutely amazing in bed, but was probably the worst kisser I had ever experienced. It was like she was trying to eat my face. Mouth open wide, constantly doing this thing I call the "open mouth Chew". Imagine the mouth open, but just a slight chewing action that barely closes the mouth, still leaving it open. It was always sloppy, and I felt like I needed a napkin after every make out session. The thing that blew me away the most, was that she constantly told me that she loved kissing way more than sex. How does someone with that attitude become so awful at the thing they like most, and so amazing at the thing they don't like so much. I have no idea.

Anyways...
Perhaps I over analyze it, but here are some of the things that peak my anticipation of that first kiss...
I can't wait to see how you grab me.
The way you might grip my collar.
The force you pull me closer with.
Which way you tilt your head.
How soft your lips are.
Where you place my hands.
Where you let ME place my hands.
Will it be a deep passionate kiss.
Will it be action filled, with lots of tongue and movements.
Will there be any tongue at all.
Will you sigh.
Will you make any sounds at all.
And then, will your mouth have a taste that leaves me wondering, "When can I do that again?"


Anyone else have things that go through their mind before, during, or after a first kiss?

Apparently Hot Friends are a NO-NO!

Since when is it a crime to have a facebook profile picture of you and your friend? I'll tell you when... When you are a man, and your friend in the photo is a woman, and NOT the woman you are dating. That's when!

A couple weeks ago I wrote this post about how I went out for my friend Kel's birthday. This week she posted the pics from that night and in most of the pics I look retarded or I'm doing something stupid, but there is one of me and Kel where I think that I look damn good. I love the picture! I tend to not be serious when taking photos, so there aren't a ton of good ones of me on facebook. When I finally get a good one, I like to make it my profile pic for awhile. Now like I mentioned in that post, Kel is very attractive, but her looks shouldn't matter. She is JUST my friend. We have never BEEN more, and I'm 99% sure we will never BE more. A friend in a picture is a friend in a picture. Shouldn't matter if they are female or male, but apparently it does.

Ivy told me last night that she saw that I changed my photo. She asked who the girl was. I told her my friend Kel, who I have talked about before. I have never hid anything from her when it comes to the women in my life (except when I was seeing Chi at the very beginning of meeting them both. I'm not stupid enough to tell a woman I just met that I met another woman too who I've gone on a few dates with). Ivy is well aware that I have many friends that are girls. That's just the way it is. It has always been that way and always will. That doesn't mean I'm out screwing them all, nor do I want to.

Anyways, this morning I get on FB and notice that Ivy had changed her status to, "Can't sleep. Can't stop thinking. I hate when I over analyze him"

WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN???

When I first met Ivy, I knew that she had a facebook because she had told me. I refused to be friends with her on there, because we barely knew each other, and I have found out that it is pointless to add someone as a friend just because you like them. If things go sour, you don't want to see what they are up to, but then you don't want to delete them because then you will look like the immature one. So I found the best way to deal with this, is to just not become friends with girls you are dating untill it gets serious. Well, as you can probably tell, we have gotten a bit serious recently, so last week I friended Ivy. BIG MISTAKE!

Because now I gotta deal with this shit. Don't try and analyze my profile, or my pictures, who's writing on my wall, or who's wall i'm writing on, or my status updates, or any of that! So now, as you can see from my FB badge, I went out of my way to cut Kel out of the pic in hopes that that will ease Ivy's mind.

           Note: Yes. That hand on my shoulder is Kel's. So now I probably look like a prick to Kel for cutting her out when her hand is obviously in the picture ---------------------------------------------->

 Maybe i've just been irritable the past few days, but this really got under my skin today, and here I had a really nice post for y'all that I have been putting together for a couple days now. I don't like to post twice in a day, so I guess that will have to wait.


Have a solid weekend y'all!!

Red Flags a Flyin'

Recently I have heard a lot about "red flags" while dating someone. And I have never understood what these are. I mean, because to me, every person you ever meet is going to be different and unique compared to any other person. But, any person could also have simular qualities or tastes or attributes as any other person as well. But that doesn't mean two people are the exact same. That doesn't mean that just because you hear one thing that you don't like about something is enough to equal a failing relationship.

I might have found the realization to the "red flag" saying tonight though.

When you find youself not wanting to know more about a person because you are afraid of what you might find out... THAT'S A RED FLAG!

When you are laying next to someone asking yourself the question, "Why am I even here?"... THAT'S A RED FLAG!


When you are trying to kiss someone and they just pucker up with no passion... THAT'S A RED FLAG!

When you tell someone you want to take them on a surprise date, and they guess what it is and then say, "Maybe we can just go to dinner instead"... THAT'S A RED FLAG!

When you tell someone that you like hangin out with them and their only response is, "Aww, you're sweet"... THAT'S A RED FLAG!





Red flags do not mean "Keep going for it". They are called red flags for a reason.

 

Beyond Boobs and Ass

A friend of mine last week told me that I need to start looking for a different type of women. Apparently she thinks I keep hunting down the same types. I completely disagree with her. Over the past few months, I have met some amazing women. Each one is unique in their own way and although things have not worked out, I will still say they are great people with great personalities.

All weekend I was thinking about the things that I find attractive about a woman. Obviously men are turned on by a great rack and a round booty, but that's something that is universal with the human population... We are attracted to a good body. I am thinking beyond those things. Although there are a couple things about the body I want to reflect on, and mention why I think they are hot, but lets not start there.

First, I LOVE the way that women smell!! There is something about perfume that just boosts my attention. This totally makes me sound like a creeper, which I'm not i promise, but if a women is walking in front of me on the street with a good smelling perfume, I could follow her everywhere. It's also a huge turn on to be dancing with a women who smells great, because its just so relaxing. And to get a little sappy, if a women stays over and has perfume on, she usually leaves that scent on your sheets and pillow. I could cuddle up on that side of the bed all day after that. It's awesome until that smell fades away!

I feel like this doesn't happen nearly enough for people who are just dating and not in a serious relationship, but i also love when a women puts her arms around ME. Of course I love to put my arms around you, but i think that is just an expected thing for the man, why do i always have to hold you? Whether coming up from behind me while standing, or wrapping your arms around my chest while laying on the bed or couch, I just like to feel you grab me once in awhile.

A girl in high heels is ALWAYS hot! Heels accentuate the muscle in the calf, and this is soooo hot!!

Another hot body part... dimples on the lower back. Usually girls who are very fit have the dimples, and i don't really know why, but it just IS hot.

Dark eyes! Ever since I was in high school I have always had a thing for dark eyes. Eye shadow or mascara, or whatever it is that you girls do to make your eyes look darker is so appealing to me. Dark eyes are so seductive.


Now I'm going to move on to my personal turn ons...

Accents!! I am a sucker for them, particularly southern accents. I think generally people are attracted to accents, so this probably isn't a big surprise.

White bottoms! Whether they are shorts, pants, skirts, whatever. If it's white, it's hot to me. I think people can guess why, so i won't reveal that ;-)

Booty shorts! There is nothing hotter than a women walking around in a pair of tight booty shorts. Most men think G's and thongs are the hottest, but I prefer the shorts. Sometimes more isn't always better... If there isn't enough booty hanging out, I want to know what the rest that's covered up looks like.

Finally... this was a recently learned turn on, but grabbing the front of my shirt, or short collar when you want, or ARE kissing me... IS PROBABLY THE HOTTEST THING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED BEFORE 3RD BASE!!


Anyone else all hot a bothered now?