Dumbass Move of the Day V3

Friday it was fricken 70 degrees here in Denver! Talk about crazy for January. Both my bosses left work about 1pm, so I took off around 1:30. 4hr days make me extremely happy.

I walked outside, dropped the top on the Jeep and drove to my parents house where I played with the dogs and did a little work on the Jeep, as I usually do when I have free time. It was a great Friday.

Saturday I went snowboarding with a buddy and we got some awesome runs in. We took a lift as high on the mountain as we could, and then we hiked this ridge for a bit to get a good drop in down one of the chutes and into the bowls.

 

After this run, things got sour. I got a little hungry and reached into my pocket to grab one of my three granola bars. We did a few more runs and headed down the mountain.

It was about 1 when we decided to do one more run and call it a day...

I reached for my pocket to grab another granola bar...

Wait a second. Why is that pocket open?

Why are my granola bars not in there?

More importantly... Did I move my keys to another pocket?

SHIT!!

When I grabbed the first bar, I forgot to zip my pocket back up, and it was the same pocket I put my car keys in. I had only wiped out one time since then, but I had made multiple stops and sat down. We raced back up to the top of the mountain in hopes that we could comb the runs we did and find my keys. They obviously had to be sitting with 2 granola bars, so we searched and searched for those damn green wrappers.

No luck.

This dumbass lost his keys on the mountain. Oh and it gets worse...

"Just have someone drive your spare up" Jim said. That would have been a great idea except for the fact that I don't have a spare!! That was it. The only one. No others. I was fucked.

This is what I thought I was gonna have to do.

Luck would have it though, that my Jeep is still in my parents name. They also had a copy of the registration. And, it wasn't 5 o'clock yet, so they ran to the dealership to see if they could get a copy made. Sure enough, the delearship has all that on record, and my Jeep was made one year before they started installing chips into the keys, so they could just make me a copy and it should work. One year later and I would have had to tow it down to the dealership for them to program the key. That solved my key issue. Next was how do I get home? This is when you know who your true friends are. My buddy Chris drove 2hrs to pick my ass up. Then we drove 2hrs back home. Sunday I had another buddy drive me up and thankfully the new key worked. I think I'm gonna owe them beer for awhile.

What a weekend! It was a giant pain in the ass, but it all worked out. So here is some dumbass advice for all of you... MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A SPARE KEY MADE!!

The Power of a First Kiss

I have come to the conclusion that every girl has their own taste.

Now let's not get dirty here... although I do love crude humor!

I'm talking about the way a person tastes when you kiss them. Not every mouth tastes very refreshing. For me anyway, your taste is definitely something that plays a factor in if i'm going to kiss you again. It plays into the spark ya know. We might have had the hottest, most passionate kiss on the planet. But if your mouth tastes like a jar of old pennies... deals off sweetie. Sorry.

Perhaps I just have stronger scents of taste then others, but I guarantee that if you blindfolded me, lined up a handful of woman from my life, (let's say ex girlfriends), I could tell you who each one of them are by just kissing them (assuming I have kissed them in the past).


This is why I love the anticipation of a first kiss. I don't think that anyone can down play the power of a first kiss. You all know that there has been someone in your life who you thought was super attractive, and you just wanted to jump their bones. And when it finally happened that you got your hands on them, they pressed their lips to yours, you stood there for a minute and then thought...
"WTF WAS THAT?!?!?!" Immediately turned off.

I once dated a girl who was absolutely amazing in bed, but was probably the worst kisser I had ever experienced. It was like she was trying to eat my face. Mouth open wide, constantly doing this thing I call the "open mouth Chew". Imagine the mouth open, but just a slight chewing action that barely closes the mouth, still leaving it open. It was always sloppy, and I felt like I needed a napkin after every make out session. The thing that blew me away the most, was that she constantly told me that she loved kissing way more than sex. How does someone with that attitude become so awful at the thing they like most, and so amazing at the thing they don't like so much. I have no idea.

Anyways...
Perhaps I over analyze it, but here are some of the things that peak my anticipation of that first kiss...
I can't wait to see how you grab me.
The way you might grip my collar.
The force you pull me closer with.
Which way you tilt your head.
How soft your lips are.
Where you place my hands.
Where you let ME place my hands.
Will it be a deep passionate kiss.
Will it be action filled, with lots of tongue and movements.
Will there be any tongue at all.
Will you sigh.
Will you make any sounds at all.
And then, will your mouth have a taste that leaves me wondering, "When can I do that again?"


Anyone else have things that go through their mind before, during, or after a first kiss?

Revamp

This past weekend was pretty much filled with beer pong. A LOT OF IT.
Thursday night went out downtown as usual and played pong at Lodos.
Friday, went over to a buddy's place and played pong all night.
Saturday Ivy gave me a new haircut. If I haven't mentioned before, Ivy is a hairstylist. I am now rockin a pretty good looking Fohawk. My mom said it was ok, but that it looked like a 18 year old's cut. In some ways I can see that. I think it definitely makes me look younger, which I don't need. But hey, I'll rock it for awhile and see how things go. Saturday night we went to a couple parties and played a little more pong.

Yesterday I gave my Jeep a good bath and a nice wax. Is it weird that I still get googly eyed over my own Jeep?
We also went to see the Green Hornet last night.

Absolutely awesome movie!! I love a good action film with a cool tricked out car. It was pretty funny too and not completely serious all the time like most super hero movies.

On another revamp note, I decided this weekend that I really need to start being better with my money. In the past couple months I have paid off my Jeep, paid off 1 credit card, and now should have a little extra money laying around. But the fact is, I don't have extra money. I have never been good about saving because I like to go out and play all the time. If I have extra money, I tend to spend it. This needs to die down a bit. On Friday I committed to putting $100 a month into a money market account and hopefully that will help me reach some short term financial goals, like paying off the other credit card with $5k on it, or maybe a down payment on a house, or maybe a "run around" car since they are projecting $4 gas this year... ouch!! We'll just have to see how that one goes.

5 o'clock somewhere

I was extremely frustrated on Friday, hence my mid day rant. Women can get under my skin in a matter of minutes, and it didn't help that I was irritable all week from work and some other stupid bull shit. I counted every minute that passed on Friday from about 3:30 to 5. The moment I got home, I could hear a faint voice calling me...

"Ryan"
"Im in here"

"Ryan"

I followed the voice to the kitchen. I immediately threw open that fridge, grabbed that blue mountain can, and poured the most refreshing beer I have ever drank down my aching throat.

Beer tastes so much better when you are frustrated. Luckily, I was in luck to have a lot more that night. My buddy Chris got back in town from his winter vacation in Texas and he wanted to hit downtown. His GF isn't 21 so she offered to drive us. We hit up Jackson where they have $15 all you can drink till midnight. This means you gotta get like 5 drinks to make it worth it. 3 beer in, I told Chris I was getting full but not even close to feeling anything. So I switched to vodka crans. 2 of those and I had reached the 5 drink quota, but I wanted to finish off that bar with one more beer.

We were making our way to Pats when we passed a bar Chris knew of pretty well. I have never been there so he said we had to go. When we walked in, I was amazed to find they had 100 something beers on tap!! We had a beer there and ran into my friend Amanda. She was out with some friend playing bar golf. There were on there way to the Grizz next, so we followed them over there.

I was already drunk at the time, and I was still pissed at Ivy so when we got to the Grizz I regressed to my "single, out at the bars" self. I thought Amanda had a cute friend, so I bought us all a round of shots. They were about to head to a different bar and we were still in the mood for Pats, so we parted ways.

On the way to Pats I couldn't help but notice these two lovely ladies in dresses walking ahead of us. As they started making a turn entering a parking garage, one of them caught me staring at them. This happens a lot apparently like this post.

I don't know how we started talking, or even remember what was being said, but I know we were talking from across the garage when we talked them into coming to Pats with us. Again, drunken Ryan decided to buy shots. Then Chris bought a round. Needless to say, I was hammered. The girl wanted to go dance somewhere, so I told them we could go to a bar I used to bounce at. We did some dancing, and it was about that time to part ways. Chris's GF was on her way, and I certainly couldn't drink anymore. I exchanged numbers with the Cali girl but I couldn't remember her name for the life of me. She is now in my phone as "Parking Garage Girl".

Although I got her number. I will not use it. I am serious about Ivy, and I am no cheater! I know it may sound bad that I got a number, but it's not. I made no moves on her and did nothing wrong. Hey, can't get mad at a guy for practicing his game a little bit. Just because Michael Jordan goes out to shoot some hoops doesn't mean he is coming out of retirement.

I did end up seeing Ivy on Saturday before leaving town, and we talked about some things, and she is just used to getting hurt and expects it to happen again. I told her she can't think that. She has to bring things up to me, even if they sound stupid to her. One key to a good relationship is communication. I don't want to read stuff on FB about her being frustrated with me and never saying something to me. That's a little ridiculous. But hey, we got it figure out.

The rest of my weekend was snowshoeing in Estes Park with the family!!

Apparently Hot Friends are a NO-NO!

Since when is it a crime to have a facebook profile picture of you and your friend? I'll tell you when... When you are a man, and your friend in the photo is a woman, and NOT the woman you are dating. That's when!

A couple weeks ago I wrote this post about how I went out for my friend Kel's birthday. This week she posted the pics from that night and in most of the pics I look retarded or I'm doing something stupid, but there is one of me and Kel where I think that I look damn good. I love the picture! I tend to not be serious when taking photos, so there aren't a ton of good ones of me on facebook. When I finally get a good one, I like to make it my profile pic for awhile. Now like I mentioned in that post, Kel is very attractive, but her looks shouldn't matter. She is JUST my friend. We have never BEEN more, and I'm 99% sure we will never BE more. A friend in a picture is a friend in a picture. Shouldn't matter if they are female or male, but apparently it does.

Ivy told me last night that she saw that I changed my photo. She asked who the girl was. I told her my friend Kel, who I have talked about before. I have never hid anything from her when it comes to the women in my life (except when I was seeing Chi at the very beginning of meeting them both. I'm not stupid enough to tell a woman I just met that I met another woman too who I've gone on a few dates with). Ivy is well aware that I have many friends that are girls. That's just the way it is. It has always been that way and always will. That doesn't mean I'm out screwing them all, nor do I want to.

Anyways, this morning I get on FB and notice that Ivy had changed her status to, "Can't sleep. Can't stop thinking. I hate when I over analyze him"

WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN???

When I first met Ivy, I knew that she had a facebook because she had told me. I refused to be friends with her on there, because we barely knew each other, and I have found out that it is pointless to add someone as a friend just because you like them. If things go sour, you don't want to see what they are up to, but then you don't want to delete them because then you will look like the immature one. So I found the best way to deal with this, is to just not become friends with girls you are dating untill it gets serious. Well, as you can probably tell, we have gotten a bit serious recently, so last week I friended Ivy. BIG MISTAKE!

Because now I gotta deal with this shit. Don't try and analyze my profile, or my pictures, who's writing on my wall, or who's wall i'm writing on, or my status updates, or any of that! So now, as you can see from my FB badge, I went out of my way to cut Kel out of the pic in hopes that that will ease Ivy's mind.

           Note: Yes. That hand on my shoulder is Kel's. So now I probably look like a prick to Kel for cutting her out when her hand is obviously in the picture ---------------------------------------------->

 Maybe i've just been irritable the past few days, but this really got under my skin today, and here I had a really nice post for y'all that I have been putting together for a couple days now. I don't like to post twice in a day, so I guess that will have to wait.


Have a solid weekend y'all!!

Passenger Paranoia

My weekend was pretty uneventful, and filled with Ivy. Until last night, I hadn't seen my own bed since Wednesday. I think it's time I get a drawer so that I don't have to pack a "night bag" when I leave my house anymore.

Thursday I began my training for a pong tournament coming up in April. This will be my cousins 5th annual beer pong tournament, and last year I was the first one in the family to win it. This year I plan on being the first team to win the tourney twice. Now when I say training, I don't mean binge drinking like the movie Beer Fest. Training to me is perfecting my skill, because it's about hitting all the cups first and winning. Some people go for the drinking, but I'm competitive as hell and hate to lose in anything. So for the next 3 months I will be playing pong at least 3 times a week.

(Yes I know... I have amazing life priorities)

Friday Ivy and I watched a movie and then went home where her crazy neighbors fought till 4:30am. That couple is seriously crazy. They yell and scream at the top of their lungs all night, and I can totally hear stuff crashing and banging around. This has happened more than a handful of times, and next time I think I may call the cops. Someone needs to get a hold of this situation. But I'll let Ivy make that decision since I don't actually live there.



Saturday I realized why I prefer to drive everywhere no matter where I am going or who I'm with... I have a serious fear of riding with someone else.

I was sitting in the back of the car with one of Ivy's friends driving. I swear I didn't do any backseat driving, but the entire time we were driving I was critiquing everything she did. Tailgating. Changing lanes without blinkers. Braking too hard. Shifting too hard. Not knowing where the fuck she is driving!

Inside my own head I was going crazy. I started thinking about how I pretty much always drive when me and my friends go out. It's not because they tell me to, I guess I just feel like I'm the best driver out of all of us. (This is probably true) 

There really are only a handful of people I can ride with and feel safe. And these are people I have known for many years. To be honest, Ivy's driving scares me the most. At night anyway. She is a pretty good driver during the day, but she is night blind and doesn't wear glasses for it. So when the sun goes down, I become afraid for my life. She drives way too close to other cars, and since we sit so low I wonder how she is going to stop in time when she sees the person in front of us hit their brake. She also can't see curbs when turning, so we have totally run a few of those over.

 I am constantly asking her if she wants me to drive, even when it's her car. Or, i'll just buy her a few drinks before we leave somewhere and then i'll say, "I better drive".

Does that make me a jerk?

I'm not really sure what it is, but as I sit here writing this, I'm realizing that the friends I feel safe with, drive trucks or SUV's. Maybe I'm just scared of being in a small car. Maybe I'm so use to my Jeep and how high it is, that I don't feel secure unless I know that our vehicle is gonna win if we are in a crash.

HHHMMMMMMMM........

All I have to say today...

WAHOOO!!! APPLEBEES... RIBLETS ON ME!!!

Anyone who has seen Dane Cook's "Rough around the edges" stand up knows what i'm talking about.

Happy Friday Everyone!

No Better Opportunity

For those of you that really know me, or actually read stuff on my profile, you know that I don't really like my job. Don't get me wrong, I like the work, mostly because I like working with numbers. I have always been good at math and I don't mind doing it all day. The part I hate though, is sitting behind a desk all day just running numbers and pushing paperwork. It sucks!!

The other problem, is that I have never known what I truly wanted to do in life. That makes it really hard to chase something when you have no idea what to chase. Well, recently an opportunity arrived that gives me that "need to chase" feeling.

In Colorado we have an organization called Stay The Trail. It promotes responsible trail use for any off road vehicle. For the most part, people abide by the rules and stay on marked trails and don't destroy the land, but there are a handful of ass-hats out there that continue to get trails closed for the rest of us. So it is every off road enthusiasts job to be responsible and show respect as to unsure our trails stay open for future enthusiasts. Anyways, Stay The Trail has a job opening. Basically, you would travel around the state promoting responsible trail use. There are also a wide range of other responsibilities, but they are things like apply for grants, attend off road events, put together fundraisers, meet with BLM reps, stuff like that. So it's basically a project manager position in a way.

Off roading is definitely a passion of mine and if I could do it for a living and help promote the safe use of trails to others, I think I would like that. Also, I am very sociable so that is another reason I want to get out of the office life and get out and meet/talk to people.

Tonight I am going to be revamping my resume is hopes that I can impress the folks at Stay The Trail and get myself an interview for this position. Wish me luck!!

IT'S WEDNESDAY... HAPPY HUMP DAY!!

New Years Eve Madness

Like I mentioned the other day, one of my good friends from college came and visited me last week from AZ. He arrived on Tuesday, and it was a shit show everyday until he left yesterday. You know that Black Eyed Peas song, "Party All the Time"?... Yea... that was us for 5 days. From the moment we arrived at my house at 7pm Tuesday night, we were intoxicated in some way, shape, or form every night until Sunday morning. And what did we do all day?? Sleep and watch movies. It was a great vacation!

Tuesday night we drank some beers at my place and then went to a bar for a beer pong tourney where we polished off 4.5 pitchers between the two of us. After a few long naps on Wednesday, we headed out to a bar to watch the Arizona bowl game. Since Brain goes to UA now, this was a must. We drank heavily once again and roamed around downtown all night. Made it to bed around 4am. Thursday we slept majority of the day again and then started the best night of the 5 days in my opinion.

A really good friend of mine turned 22 that day. We went over to her place to pregame where her and her friends pregame harder than anyone I know. Before we walked out the door to the bus stop, we took shot after shot after shot after shot. Now Kel is absolutely gorgeous, and has an amazing body, so i feel it is totally ok for her to show it off. Well, it was about 5 degrees Thursday night and Kel insisted on wearing shorts. Although she said her legs don't get cold that often and that we were going to be inside all night, this turned out to be a bad decision. We hit up a few bars and had a lot more drinks before 2 am came around. I did some good old swing dancing and caught up with a few friends I saw out that night. When the time came to get on out, we had to carry Kel out. She was so wasted we had to hold her up and she was practically incoherent. As it snowing, we start looking for a cab to hale. NOTHING. We couldn't find a single cab which was very abnormal for a Thursday night downtown. We started walking to another corner where every cab that passed us had people in it already. Kel started shaking really bad because she was soo cold. Shorts in 0 degree weather for any length of time probably isn't good, so the fact that we are standing out in it for 15-20 mins can give you an idea how cold she was. My intoxicated self started to freak a bit for Kel safety and so I started running down the snow covered streets of Denver chasing cabs. Now when I say running down the streets, I literally mean, RUNNING... IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. I would see a cab 2 blocks down with it's light on, so I'd sprint that way. Before I could reach it, someone would jump in. I'd then turn and see another cab, 2 block another direction. I'd haul ass to that one. Someone would get in. I'd turn again... CAB! Taking off once more for disappointment. I was finally able to catch a cab and bring it back to my friends standing in the bitter cold. HERO? Naw!! Just a drunk dumbass!

On Friday, we slept off Thursday night and started drinking again around 5pm. We played lots of drinking games that night and went to a pretty awesome party. I got my first New Years kiss in about 6 years from Ivy. Although her intoxicated self freaked out on me a little bit at the end of the night about where we were going relationship wise, it was still a pretty awesome night. I was never upset with Ivy at all, but the next day she apologized for her freak out. Saturday we all went to a hookah bar and then finished by drinking some beers at my place.

It was a week filled with all kinds of events, and I totally showed Brian I haven't lost my party touch. We totally finished out 2010 with a BANG!!

Goodbye 2010

I know that it has been a long time since my last post, and that is not normal for me, but it has been for good reasons. I have been extremely busy. My holidays have been wonderful and this whole week a good college friend of mine from AZ has been staying with me and we have been partying our asses off. The very end of 2010 was AWESOME!

It is 3:45am, and most people are probably wondering, "Why the hell are you up and blogging?"

Well, Ivy was hanging out with me tonight and she was really tired. Ivy has 2 dogs at home waiting for her to take care of them and so staying the night with me is never really an option, but yet she did need a little midnight nap before heading home. I would never give up a chance to cuddle with this amazing girl. So anyways, she has just headed off for her 30 some minute drive and I always stay up and wait for her to text me she made it home safely.

Come Monday, I will have a very nice (and possibly long) story for you recapping this week's 5 day adventure, but for now, I wanted to share with y'all why 2010 couldn't have ended any better for me.

On October 30, I was blessed with meeting the most incredible woman. I didn't know it at the time, and it never even hit me until the past 2 or 3 weeks. Ivy has been an amazing addition to my life. She is so kind, so nice, so thoughtful, just has a giant heart. By this point in a relationship I usually find the girl I'm dating to be completely fake and a totally different person than I thought at the beginning. Not with Ivy. She is still as genuine as the first day I met her. Tonight while at the hookah bar, I kept finding myself just staring and smiling at her. I couldn't help it. In fact, it's like that every single time I am around her. I can't help but smile, because she is just AWESOME! I feel on top of the world when I'm around Ivy, and I can't wait to see where 2011 will take us.