Awkward Sex Moments

Today, the absolutely hilarious girl over at Was that Awkward put up a Thieving Thursday story that was mine! Check it out! Also be sure to follow her. She has some of the most outrageous stories I have ever heard.

Well, I'm going to follow that story up with another awkward sex moment I had this past year. In my "Post Birthday" Post, I mentioned towards the end that I had a nice make out session with a girl and quietly said she didn't sleep with me that night. I think it's time to fill y'all in on why.

After the hot tub and hanging out some in the living room, I grabbed Clover (she had a 4 leaf clover tattoo that I saw briefly) and pulled her into my room, pressed her up against the door, and had a very solid make out session. She shut the door and took my shirt off. I then toss her on the bed and we each take turns taking off a layer of clothing.

Now, like most awkward stories, this particular story has a slight contributor to the awkwardness. Earlier that day, I couldn't figure out how to turn the heat down, so instead I just opened the window in my room. Like in idiot, I forgot to close the window, and now that it was like 1am, it was fricken freezing in that room. And for me, I notice the cold fairly quickly.

As I'm standing over Clover naked, I begin to get the chills and shake slightly. She points out my shaking, and I tell her I'm just getting cold. She offers to help and then rolls me over so she is now on top. The sex has not started, but at this point it was clear its going to happen. We start fooling around a little when I noticed I still have the chills. I begin to over think this, and worry she thinks I'm not really cold, but nervous about having sex with her. And then it really started... I started getting nervous about getting nervous.

Clover says, "You are still shaking". I look at her and say, "Stop worrying about it". Now if you knew me in real life, you would know that I am normally a loud person. When I've been drinking, I'm at a completely other level; I'm really loud. Since this girl had just met me, she was unaware of this, and instinctively thought I was yelling at her. Her response, "Well you don't have to yell at me". Clover rolls off of me and just lays there for a second. I tried to salvage the situation by dropping my tone very low and telling her I was sorry, I wasn't yelling, I was just saying, and it came out really loud. My efforts were not successful and hence Clover decided it was best for her to say good night and go to her room, so she did.

So there you go. My shot at birthday sex this past year was ruined by the damn cold, and the drunken nerves of getting nervous.

Yes I know, I'm a day overdue

Well folks, today is officially my Monday. I was off yesterday, and totally forgot what day it was and that I owed y'all a reflection Monday. My bad. But y'all understand right?

Anyways, this weekend was a pretty big let down on the side of the party scene. Went downtown to play pong on Thursday night as usual and it was actually crowded for a change. I was surprised how crowded the bar was for a winter Thursday night.

For those that don't know, Thursday nights seem to be a big downer in the winter at bars that don't offer it to be "Ladies night". I'm pretty sure speaking from experience, it's because the gentlemen will go anywhere where there is a crowd of women. It ups our their chances of staying warm during the winter months.

Somehow I have developed a major Kryptonite over the past few months. Awhile ago I mentioned to y'all that I'm "training" for the beer pong tourney in April. Well, the last cup has become my Kryptonite, and I have no idea how. I think it is a total mental thing. I started to notice I was getting worse at hitting last cup, and it just keeps getting more and more worse. On Thursday night, and Saturday night, I couldn't hit last cup to save my life. If it wasn't for my partners, I think i'd still be there today shooting at that damn thing. I am in need of a serious ego boost. I think it's time to practice with just one cup.

Like I just mentioned, I also played pong on Saturday night at a friend's party. So that's that. Then Sunday I wnet 4wheeling with some guys. Here are a few picks for your enjoyment...

As for yesterday, I sat around pretty much all day watching movies on tv, besides the hour I spent at the car wash giving my baby a good bath.

Accepting Who You Are

Maybe I'm asking a question that can never be answered, but how come relationships hold people back so much?

That question might seem a little open ended, so let me tell a brief story and explain a bit.

My best friend is an awesome guy. He is crazy, outgoing, nice, and when he's been single, he's a total party animal and always knows how to have a good time. When he finally got into a serious relationship, he stopped coming out with the boys. He stopped asking to hangout. He stopped going to parties. I totally understand that couples like to spend lots of time together, but shouldn't a perfect couple like to do the same things with each other as they did before they met? I feel like too many people change who they are just so that they can seem "perfect" for that other person.

Now with that in mind, I do believe the majority of people are very "fake" when you first meet them. Let's be honest here, when you first meet someone you are interested in or like, don't you try to impress them? You want them to like you back, so you act slightly different then you do on a normal basis. Me for example, I've noticed that my voice is a lot deeper when I first meet and start talking to someone. After awhile of interecting with them for a few weeks or months, I tend to become more comfortable with being goofy around them, so my voice changes slightly.

No matter how much you deny it, everyone does this. We all lie some how to another person just so that we look a little cooler. A little more attractive. A little better in that other person's eyes.

But what happens when the "let's impress them" attitude wares off? That's when the relationship comes to an end. In most cases, this happens early on, and so it doesn't seem like a big deal to break ways with someone when you know you aren't right for each other. Then there are those cases where people spend months or years with each other, and slowly pile up all the reasons why their relationship is not going to work. Those cases suck. You spent so much time with that person, so now you question if it was a waste or not. How come sometimes it takes us so long to figure out we aren't right for each other? Is it that some people really do a very good job at hiding who whey truely are, or are we so caught up in lust that we are just blinded by the obvious signs?

Dollar Dollar Bill Y'all

This weekend was filled with money and long lost friendships.

Friday night I went out with my best friend's Nick and Jess. We went downtown, bar hopped, and spent money none of us had. At one bar, I saw a friend I haven't seen in 6 years or more. We used to play football and baseball together back when we kids. It was great seeing him, although I didn't recognize him for like 15 mins. Have you ever had someone approach you and they are like, "Hey your name! How are you?" then you're like, "HEY!!" and have no idea who the person is? That was me. I was totally trying to pull it off that I knew who he was, but really had no idea. Jerrad looked so different. After we separated for awhile, I finally figured it out, and eventually went back to talking with him. I felt like an idiot, but I don't suspect he knew I didn't remember him at first.

On our walk back to the Jeep, I took a shortcut through a parking garage, and I found a wallet. The wallet had no id, so there was no way to return it to anyone. When I opened the bill section of the wallet, I couldn't believe my eyes. 50,50,50,50,50,20,20,20,20,20,20,20,20,20,20,20,20,20,20,20... etc...

We had just found an unidentifiable wallet with over $800 in it!!! WAHOOOO!! Our expensive night out just became a free one. We split up the money. Now I know that someone is gonna be thinking I am a bad person for taking the money, but be honest with yourself, what would you do? Like I said, there was no ID, so how do we turn the money in? It really sucks that someone lost that much money, but what would you have me done?

Saturday I drove up to Vail to see a friend from high school. She was an exchange student from Australia who spent a few years out here, and that's how we met. After graduation, she went back down under, and we kept in touch for a little while, but I hadn't spoke with her in a couple years until I saw on her FB that she was in Vail this week.

You all remember me talking about accents right? Well, hanging out with a couple Aussies all day was AWESOME! It was great to see this girl after 6 years and catch up. (check out her blog) They wanted to go tubing, so that's what we did. Great day. Here are a few pics or the scenery...

And finally, today is Valentine's Day. I know that many people hate this day, but hey, it should be just like any other day. If you are single, don't let it get to you. Be happy that you don't have to go out, spend a bunch of money, wait ridiculous amounts of time to eat dinner, do ridiculous amount of personal grooming just to enhance the sex tonight, and just think about how fake people are today. Don't be sad, because for the most part, yes, everyone who has a significant other looks happy today, but what about every other day? Those same people will probably be miserable and complaining about their companion next week. 

As for me and Ivy, we decided we're just gonna cook up a couple nice steaks, curl up on the couch, and watch some tv. Simple and easy. Just like any other day.

Warrior Dash

Have y'all seen this?

I think it is hilarious how every description of this event you find, talks about how crazy hard this thing is. If you search videos on it, how many people do you see are actually in really good shape, to handle something "crazy hard"??
Basically, I think this is a way to get Americans to get out and do something crazy before getting shit faced at the after party. They hype it up to make you feel like you really are in shape and that you don't need to change yourself in anyway, because obviously you just conquered this "crazy hard" warrior challenge.

Now i'm not saying people shouldn't do this, because I think it looks like a total blast! I'm planning on doing it! I'm just saying they shouldn't try so hard to make it seem so extreme. I mean come on, halfway through that video you see a chick who is obviously not in shape at the after party. If she can beat this thing, my lazy butt better find a way to finish!

To Answer or Not to Answer

Yes, I am throwing in my "reflection monday" today because I have been a slacker all week till now.

Friday night I dressed up like an idiot and drank way too much. Me and some friends played bar golf. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's basically a themed bar crawl. You get some friends, you all dress up in golf clothes, go to 9 different bars, and you get scored based on different things at different bars. For example, at our first hole, (bar 1), drinking 1 beer got you a bogey. Drinking a shit got you par. Drinking a shot and a beer gave you a birdie. Drinking both in under 5 mins got you eagle. Each bar had different requirements. Lowest score for the night wins. So like I said, you dress like an idiot and get wasted. It was fun! Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures.

Saturday was a snowy night and so Ivy and I stayed in and watched movies. Well, let me rephrase that. I watched movies, and she curled up on the couch with me and fell asleep.

I started Super Bowl Sunday off by playing a game of 50 cup beer pong.

The first game we played took an hour to finish! It was crazy, but soo much fun at the same time. We played 3 people per team and had enough for 4 teams, so we played a mini tournament. Good times!!

And now on to some other random stuff I was wanting to write about today....

I think I might be one of the only people I know who answers the phone on a consistent basis when I don't know the number. That was a little wordy, so let me ask you this; Do you answer your phone when you don't recognize the number that shows up on the caller id? I do. All the time. It's habit. I have friends who say things like, "If it's really important, they'll leave a message." Well what if that one call is all they had a chance for? What if someone I know is calling from a different phone because it is the only one they could find, and it was dying in the process? I once had an ex girlfriend call me from jail in the middle of the night. I answered, and I'm glad I did, because otherwise I'd never know that if someone ever calls me from jail again, you really are limited to 5 mins exactly, and then the phone just hangs up. So if you don't get all the information you need in those 5 mins, too bad, your screwed. So make sure you don't ask questions of no importance or lecture someone. Just saying. Ask questions like what they need you to do. When, and where to be sorta things.

Anyways, I always answer numbers I don't know because I'm paranoid it is someone who will need me, or that if I don't answer, I'll miss something important. If it turns out to be a solicitor, then i'll just hang up mid conversation. That's how I deal with the "unknown number".

3 Weeks Late

3 weeks ago, the awesome Rachel over at How Fickle is Woman gave me this award...

I kept putting off writing back because I was either too busy to blog, or the subject I wanted to blog about that day could include the award. Anyways, today is the day, and I have some great stuff to write about for this award. According to the rules, you must really open up with your readers in order to accept this award. I believe that I am very open with y'all on what happens in my life, but here is some honesty about me as a person..

I want to talk about a couple serious pet peeves I recently realized I have. First, dirty car windows. I was riding in Ivy's car last week and her windows were digusting. Inside from her dog's slobber, and outside from the weather. It was driving my nuts. Like this post, Ivy's night driving scares me and she knows it, so I told her it might be because her windows were dirty, so maybe that's why she was having a hard time seeing. After we had dinner, I told her to pull into the gas station so I could clean them for her. After I cleaned the outside, I continued to grab a few paper towels and clean the insides. I was scrubbing on them forever it felt like. It made me remember how when I was younger, I was always telling my parents to turn on the windshield wipers because the windshield was "a little" dirty. They said they could see fine, but it was that little bit of dirt that bugged me the most. Then when we would go on road trips, y'all know how bugs basically gets burnt onto the windshield, i'd tell my dad i'd clean the windshiled because he did a crap job. He would barely scrub, gets no bugs off at all and just making smear marks all over. I'd get out there and scrub those bugs off till the sponge brush thingy tore apart. I didn't care, I just needed that windshield clean. Dirty winshields still bug me to this day. I don't know why, they just do. How hard is it to clean your fricken windows? Maybe it's because I don't think that most people are as good of drivers as me, so I feel they need to be able to see properly.

Pet peeve number two comes from the male restroom. Yes, I'm a male and occasionally miss the toilet a tad, but it's usually when i'm tired or drunk, and at home. How hard is it to hit the fricken urinal?? I hate having to walk up to the urinal and see a puddle of piss right where I need to stand. So now I feel like I need to stand a foot or so away from the urinal and shoot for distance is order to not get piss on my shoes. Maybe that's exactly what happened; A string of accidents. One guy comes in and shakes too early dropping some pee on the floor. The next guy comes in and doesn't want to stand in the dribble, so he steps back a few inches. In the process, he is not over the urinal, hence the ending of his flow puts a little on the floor as well. The next guy comes in and same thing. By the time I get in there, I'm shooting for record distance trying not to pee on my own pants or shoes. I would expect this sort of thing at a place where their are a lot of children, because they miss a lot. They just haven't had the hose experience yet. But I see this at my office every fricken day! EVERY FRICKEN DAY!! Put that shit in your hand, aim, shoot, and give a little shake at the end, but do it over the urinal. It's almost garanteed you won't miss.

Alright, well that's enough for today. I never saw in the rules of this award how many people I was suppose to pass this along to, so here are a couple I'm giving it to...

Little Ms Sunshine

Celeste

and of course...

http://thatmilitarygirl.blogspot.com/

Happy Hump Day!!!