Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Time for a 69

I was talking to a friend yesterday who was at my cabin this past weekend, and she felt the need to share her funniest moment of the weekend with me. Turns out I was a lot drunker than I thought. She asked me if I remembered the conversation in the hot tub about tall women vs shorter women. From what I recall, my buddy Chris suggested hooking me up with this girl "Jolly". Jolly is very tall for a woman. I remember telling everyone that I don't like woman that are as tall as me because I don't like standing behind them and not being able to see, and a variety of other boring reasons I won't go into.

Well... Apparently I also went down the sexual path of why I don't like tall women as well, and it all related to 69.


Apparently Me: "Whenever I hug a girl that I like, I am already sizing her up to see if she is a good 69 match."

I'm not going to be shy here, 69 is my favorite thing to do! It's so hot to know that I'm getting my partner off at the same time that she is getting me off. And to further clarify my quote from the night, it takes a woman of a certain height to be good for me at 69. If a woman is too tall, our "mouth to privates" length is not going to match up correctly, thus one person is going to be struggling to either 1. Reach the genital area, or 2. Give the greatest amount of pleasure they are capable of. This same situation goes for women that are too short. I challenge anyone to debate this with me.

Now that that little fun fact is out there, I'm gonna do a 69 of my own here...

I have never been one of those people who is afraid to think of change, but when it actually come down to doing it, I get stuck in the good times of the past. It's like I have a need to fix something that is broken. If it's bad, it because something isn't right and I can totally fix it. I have done this with women/relationships on more than one occasion.

When everything is good between me and a woman, I can easily walk away and not feel bad about my decision. But, when everything is good and a woman walks away from me, I obsess over what I did wrong and how I can salvage the situation, hopefully bringing her back. It's almost like I need the satisfaction of knowing I fixed something and now everything is ok. It's stupid. I know!

I am ready for change, in so many areas in my life. I am tired of my job, and instead of sitting here and complaining and just taking it week after week, I'm gonna take steps towards a future. Whether it brings heaps of money or not, I no longer care. I'm in it to have fun and be happy. I'm not saying I'm going to up and quit my job anytime soon, I'm just saying that I'm going to start putting effort into getting out of here. My best friend and I have always wanted to open a bar, and he has always dreamed of a brewery. Well, yesterday we decided that we are going to start brewing our first beer next week so that we can have a home brew for Christmas. Hopefully it turns out good and we can then make another batch and sell to friends and family to start. And then hopefully things can go somewhere.

The next thing I am going to change is my Blog. A new design, and a new style of writing. When I first started blogging, I wasn't sure how all of this worked. I started following other people around and doing similar posts to them, and I feel like I have been here long enough that I know what I really want to write about and what I want to share with everyone else. For the most part, if you have been reading my stuff recently, things aren't going to change too much. But if you haven't read any of my blogs for a while now, you might be in for a slight surprise. Come check me out tomorrow, and you'll see what I mean.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Winter Has Begun... at 9,000 feet

Another weekend, but not one of the ordinary. Thursday night was the night me and my pals went out for my birthday. It was actually a really lame night considering that a bunch of people bailed on coming out with me. But that didn't phase me, I still got my drink on and had a pretty good time with the small group that DID come to join me.

Friday I packed up the Jeep and headed up to the cabin I rented for the weekend. All week I was worried about who would actually show up because again, everyone was bailing on me, but Friday turned out to be a great night! Played plenty of Kings Cup and spent a ton more time in the hot tub. The end of the night had a little drama, but I suppose that is expected at a house party. When most of us left the hot tub, one of my buddies stayed behind with a girl I used to like, over a year ago. She is a good friend of mine now, and I don't think either of us would want more than that. I was ready to pass out, and my buddy's stuff was in my room. I didn't want him to come in and wake me up, so i took his stuff out of my room. And in my drunken state, I figured that if I put his stuff somewhere, he wouldn't be able to find it. So I just laid it in the hallway outside my door. Apparently when Jake decided to come in, he took this as me being pissed off at him for fooling around with the girl in the hot tub. My bad for trying to make it so you saw your shit! Oh well. Maybe he was just pissed off that I wasn't going to give up my bed so her could use it. Either way, we both got over it the next day, like most people do after some drunken drama.

Saturday was amazing! Woke up to it snowing and headed out for some 4wheeling.

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It was amazing until this drift swallowed my Jeep...

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After heading down a bit, it was time for a family photo. First, me and my brother...

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Then another photo with mom and dad who joined us for the day...

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Saturday night was a whole different group of people at the cabin, as everyone from Friday night headed home. Saturday included lots of speed quarters, and again some kings cup, where I came up with the greatest rule of all time. When I pulled the card for make a rule, I ruled that everyone had to make a sex noise before taking a drink. It was GREAT!! One girl, who i didn't know, happened to be single and came up with one of my friends, had some totally hot fake sex noises. I had found my woman for the night :-) 

We spent a lot of time in the hot tub once again where someone came up with the idea to wrestle in the tub. Stupid idea! It was fun that night, but yesterday and still today, my whole body is sore. But it was still fun. I ended up having a pretty heavy make out session with the new girl. She didn't stay with me that night, but she did give me her number the next day, so we'll see if she comes around again.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Monday... It's HALLOWEEN THIS WEEK!!! Time to start building my costume. Which is gonna be epic!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Rain Check

This has got to be a woman's favorite 2 words... Rain Check.



I would like to take an in-depth examination of this phrase.

I might be wrong here, but I don't hear men use this phrase when talking about anything besides sports. Women on the other hand, most often use this phrase when turning down men. I could not count the number of times I have heard an excuse followed by, "But can I get a Rain check?"
One would think this is such a positive word. Which it is a positive word. But, this positive word has a very negative annotation. When a man hears this phrase he's thinking to himself, "She just can't do it tonight but she definitely seems like she wants to get together another time."

How are we so naive gentlemen?

I have spoke to my female friends a few times about this phrase, and all but one of them agreed that the phrase is meant to sound positive, but that it indeed is not. This is a positive word only in the aspect that it is not meant to hurt. A hurtful person would easily say, "No, not tonight, and probably not ever". But that is mean, and apparently women don't like to always be mean when turning down a guy, so they use the rain check as an escape. An alternate. A way to keep a man's self esteem high. I agree that it sounds so much better, and even keeps me in a better mood to hear a woman say she's up for another time rather than hearing a straight no, and then feeling completely rejected. It's like a mother telling her child that they can't have cookies at the grocery store this time, but next time she'll buy them. NO THEY WILL NOT!!! Again, this is an excuse to get the kid to shut up, stop crying, and look forward to next time, where it will be the same fricken result as this time. But yet like men, children will forget about the last time and hear the positiveness in a mothers voice telling them that next time they ask, it will be a different result.

Right now, I would love to come up with some other phrase/words that may sound positive but have negative meanings. Or vice versa. But my brain is shutting down since it is the end of the day, and it's my Friday. Anyone else care to share an example?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

FREE!! How could you pass?

Today I turned the big 2-4. I always wonder why people ask you,

 "How does it feel to be 24?" or...

"Do you feel 24 yet?"

What kind of questions are those? I never know how to answer. The smartass in me wants to say,

"Makes me feel like a pedophile when I see a cute college freshman." 18 is starting to push it now lol.

 I mean, how does turning another year older actual "feel". I think that is a dumb question that family members think of just so that can "sorta" have a phone conversation that lasts longer than...

"Hey. Just called to say Happy Birthday!"
"Thanks!"
"Well... guess I'll talk to you later since i really had no other reason to call you."
"Ok cool. Bye"

That's just lame right? Well anyways. Tonight is not filled with too much excitement. I'm going to dinner with the fam at my favorite restaurant...
I love that place!! After that, we'll open some presents, and then i think me and my bro are going to go see the new Jackass movie. Wednesday nights are a pretty dull bar night, so I'm waiting to get crazy till tomorrow!! It's Thursday for Pete's sake!

I'm hoping that this weekend is going to be bomb, but it sounds like it might turn out to be more of a bust... For a gift to myself, I rented a cabin up in the mountains, only an hour away. I paid for the whole thing and just told me friends to come up, bring booze, food, and bathing suites (Since we'll have a private hot tub), and everyone seemed down at first.

That's right... AT FIRST.

As the weekend gets closer though, more and more of my friends are letting me know that they can't make it because of all kinds of legit reasons. I'm an understanding person, but shit! I'm gonna end up drinking in a hot tub with the town drunk at this rate. I mean, what could be better than a free invitation to a mountain cabin? Am I right??

Monday, October 18, 2010

Juicy Details

Unlike most Mondays, I am in a stellar mood! So many awesome things are going on this week, that I just can't help but be excited for this week.

Time to regress however and take a look back at the weekend that just went by... all too fast.

I had a friend turn 21 on Thursday, and since most of her friends are still fairly new to the bar scene, and I'm a regular at the downtown bars, I became tour guide. I took my friends around the bars I frequent often and at an early point in the night they were all ready to go home. Of course I had really just started to get my drink on so I stayed behind. I am never worried about being alone, although I did start to question my decision when I was sitting at the fire all by myself looking like a alcoholic creeper. OH WELL!
My decision to stay actually turned out to be a great decision. While sitting at the fire, I met a very nice gal that just moved to Denver from South Dakota. She was very attractive and we sat at that fire until close, just rolling from conversation to conversation. Somewhere I mentioned that my bday was the following week and that I'd be in coming downtown to celebrate. At the point, she told me to take her number and let her know my plan, and she'd come celebrate with us. HELL YEA! This whole situation made me think of the recent post by this lovely gal. (Who you should definitely check out). It made me wonder if men are easier to approach when not there with all their boys and/or lady friends.

Friday was a laid back evening with the only excitement coming from my softball team winning first place in our league. Yes, its softball, but hey, winning is winning!

Saturday was the juiciest day of the weekend...
I had yet another bday celebration with a bunch of friends, and I brought along a chick from my softball team who has been wanting to hang out for quite sometime now. Well, to skip all the boring details... by the end of the night, this chick was all over me and asked the question, "So we going back to your place, or mine?" Turned out to be her place, and as the action started to take place I received a strange request. Strange for me at least. As we are going at it doggie she tells me to pull her hair. So i do as requested, and pulled...

Tangent: I once had a girl ask me to slightly choke her.
SLIGHTLY??? WTF does that mean? Of course I refused
because i'm not one that is into the wild and rough sex, and it
just seems very weird to want to hurt you while getting it on.

Now either I wasn't doing it the way she wanted, or I was just so good at it, she wanted more, because all i kept hearing was, "Pull harder, pull harder, pull harder" Finally i was pulling so hard it felt like I was trying to haul in an anchor straight up from the bottom of the ocean! How is this pleasurable?? Well, anyway. Didn't quite have the walk of shame in the morning, but it gets worse...
Awkwardness hit me again when I awoke and saw children's toys all over the apartment. MOTHER OF 2! Guess that part slipped her mind after asking "You have protection?"
Maybe if I would have answered with "NO" there would have been a follow up statement of something like, "Not sure I have enough room for a third in this apartment". Guess I can officially check off MILF from my list.

Hope y'all had great weekends as well! I'll be back later to catch up on my "Bday countdown" which i have neglected for 4 days.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

6 Days... 6 Memories

My cousin throws a beer pong tournament every year, this year was the 4th annual tournament and in the previous 3 years, me and my best friend had taken 4th, 2nd, and 3rd place. This year we hoped it wouldn't be the same.

As every year, you are required to wear a costume. Some how I came up with the idea to dress like super heros, and hence the name "Justice League".

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This year turned out to be different than the previous years... The tourney is always double elimination, and we usually lose somewhere in the middle and then come through the losers bracket to set our place. This year, we never lost... NOT ONCE!  On our 4th attempt, we finally became champions. The part that makes me feel the best about this, is that every year my 3 other cousins all play and each have their own team. Out of the 4 possible teams, none of us have ever won the tourney untill me. Can't wait to uphold the title this year :-)

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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

7 Days... 7 Memories

It is offically 1 week will my birthday, and since I haven't been a blogger here for too long, I tried to think of something unique for these 7 days to help my readers... yes all 8 of you ;-) ... get a little insight of my life before y'all came around.
For the next 7 days, I am going to write about 7 of my favorite memories from the last year. Now these won't be in order of ranking, so don't think that I am putting any memory above or below any other memory, these are just the flat out best 7.

If any of you would like to join in, feel free to join me. I'd love to read some of y'alls favorite memories from this past year. Jess, I especially challenge you, since you have been off for awhile (understandably, your honeymoon an all) but i wanna hear your memories.

Without further ado, number 7...

Last year's Halloween was pretty epic! I had been working on a costume for like a month, but it just didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, so last minute a friend of mine wanted to go out downtown and the only thing i could think of, was how i had bought some fabric one year for a college "caveman" theme party but never went, so i just had this stuff laying around. We grabbed the fabric, ran to the local halloween store where they still had some caveman crap and we went back to hear apartment where we started cutting and safety pinning untill we had AWESOME costumes.

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I wouldn't say the costume beats my kissing booth from the year before, but it was still pretty sweet for being made 2 hours before. And I LOVE Halloween, so as long as it's a solid night, it will always be one of my favorite memories each year.

Now, time to start working on this year's costume.


Untill tomorrow... HAPPY HUMP DAY!!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Facebook Status Hypocrites

This past weekend was pretty mellow for me besides Thursday. Like i mentioned in last Wednesday's blog, I went out with the intention of hunting for chicks. In the process of this, I got totally lit. Normally that doesn't happen on a Thursday for me, but I was with my Regis boys and figured what the hell, we can always cab back to their place. I ended the night with 2 new numbers in the phone, but neither looks too promising for hanging out anytime soon. That's all good with me... Givesd me someone else to drunk text besides my ex's (example:Last weekend).

Firday i hung out with a lady friend and watched the new Robin Hood movie. Thoroughly disappointing! The movie was very slow and tried to ramp up the 2.5 hours by ending with about 15-20 mins of solid action. I didn't enjoy that much, although I did watch the whole thing. Overall, i'd give it a C+.

There is one big thing that I think I have been learning over the past couple months, but seemed to come to fruition this weekend... You ever noticed on everyone's facebook how they might post a quote as their status, or right under their picture they have a quote that they supposedly "live by" or that "depicts them perfectly". I 'm calling bullshit on 90% of these.

Let me be the first to call myself a hipocrite. The following quote is on my FB...
"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets...so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason."

I regret a lot of things, and I certainly don't forget about the people who don't treat me right. I usually fall back on the same old people and forgive and forget all too easliy and frequently. I'm not saying that I don't try to make this quote a true statement in my own life, because I do. I try hard, it just doesn't always seem to represent me well.

I have thought more and more about this, because when I meet someone, a girl for example, I usually look at their quotes to see what kind of person they might be through those, but I often find out that the same person doesn't represent those quotes at all. Example 2...
"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep others out, they fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines, or you can live your life crossing them."

BULLSHIT!
This quote was on the FB of a girl who I dated for about a month when all of a sudden she told me, "things are moving too fast" & "i'm not ready to let you in". If you really live by the previous quote, then why would you not want to just give things a chance and see where they go? I don't get it, but I guess you can choose to live by anything at any given time and then take it back whenever you want. That's the best quality of a human am I right... The right to choose.

I once thought that words could make everything ok... If I said something meaningfull, it would make a difference. Someone could bring ease to my thoughts by some phrase. I'm learning though, that no matter what, people lie. It's hard to trust someone's words. They only way true trust can be built is from actions. If you can back your words up with actions that show the exact same thing, then I will have no reason but to believe you.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Dumbass move of the day V2

Classic "door in the face" moment of shame today at lunch...

So me and a buddy from work went to buffalo wild wings lunch and on our way out, there were 2 very attractive women at the front waiting for their take out i'm guessing, because they were sitting down and it wasn't busy at all. Anyways, John was walking in front of me and was the first to the door so he was the one to open the left side of the double door... As I was making my way to the door, I was totally staring at one of the girls as she looked over at me. I smiled a bit and she was smiling back when... SMACK!
I didn't quite make it out of the left side of the door that John was holding open.

While i was completely engulfed by this womens smile a didn't notice i was no longer headed for the open door, but rather the closed door on the right, and sure enough I walked right into it. I heard some laughing coming from the direction of the girls, but I just looked up at the door, smirked, shook my head shamefully , and continued out the open door.

Way to be Ryan, way to be.

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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Happy Hump Day.

It is Wednesday, and officially 2 weeks till my birthday! Usually by wednesday I already have a plan or two set up for the up coming weekend.

As of right now... Nothing.

I have no plans set up and that actually brings me down a bit. I know that something will end up happening, but I usually get through the work week by looking forward to something at the end, and... yea... I look forward to some sleep i guess.

I was actually thinking of throwing a party on friday to try and entice last sunday's lunch date of coming down to hang out for a bit. (She's not quite 21 so the bar won't work) But we'll see. If she's got plan already then forget the party, lets go out and meet some new chicks.

Awhile ago I posted a blog about how thursday night were no longer the same to me as they were when I was in college or when I first got out. Well, i'm gonna change that back again tomorrow. For the last 10 months I have tried to be serious with multiple women and I keep falling to the same result... not what they want at the time. So, i'm going back to thursday being "ladies night". I'm going out tomorrow to hunt for tail and fill the cell with a handful of strange numbers. How's that sound for starting off the weekend? I agree... Solid!

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Monday, October 4, 2010

4 Day Wedding Weekend!

2 of my best friends got married this weekend, and I couldn't be happier for them. We threw the bachelor party on Wednesday night and it was AWESOME!! I did a damn good job of throwing that thing together i must say. (A little gloating never hurt anyone)
We put a great "Bachelor bucket list" shirt together for Nick. My favorite task for the night was when Nick approached a table of 3 girls at this bar and had them complete task #7... Have someone show you their fake orgasm. All 3 girls were down for this one, and of course gave their best "performances". I must say, I was pretty turned on after this. What guy wouldn't be right? So the story goes... What goes on at bachelor party shouldn't really be discussed, so if y'all want know what really goes on, I'm sure you can find a party going on sometime at some downtown bar.

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Thursday was SO nice to have off. I was able to sleep in, run a few errands and watch Iron Man 2. It was great. Then went to the rehearsal and the dinner, which was just like any other wedding rehearsal, so nothing to report there. At the dinner however, we received our groomsmen gifts. My best friend is obsessed with the original converse shoes. Well, since our tuxes were black with purple vests, he got us all converse shoes that were black with purple tongues. They also say groomsmen on the back... SICK!! I'm not a big fan of the original converse, but these ones are soo cool. Plus, now i have shoes to wear to the Rockies games... Next year :-(

Friday was the actual wedding that was great. I have never seen Jess smile so big and so much in the entire 6 years I've known her. The reception was great, with some totally bomb food!! I had a great time, and did a little too much dirty dancing. And when I say dirty, I mean REAL dirty. Ya know what though, if you didn't like it, fuck it, look away. I was drunk and love to dance so i didn't (and still don't) care. Now there were two things that disappointed me about the wedding...
1) The photographer was SHIT! Sorry Jess, but I have been in 6 weddings now, and that guy didn't impress me one bit. His background choice was crap, and he never changed it up. Take some different pics in different places dude! Plus, during a handful of the photos, i totally had a branch in front on my face between me and him. I totally understand that it's not about me, but I'm just saying that whoever was on the same end as me at any point, is gonna have a branch blocking their head/face. Super disappointing.
2) Went home ALONE! I had a totally hot bridesmaid who was flirting with me the night before, and at the beginning of the reception, but as the night went on and the drunker she got, the less interested in me she became and the more interested in some douche she dated a little while back. I also had a friend come with me as my date, and she was the one I was totally getting freaky with on the dance floor. I thought for sure that was a done deal... But she had to work at 6am and had already set up a ride home. Didn't know that till the ride showed up. HMMM... Lonely, but oh well.

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Y'all have already heard about Sunday....

So overall, the weekend was great. It was amazing to have 4 days off from work and just relax. I had a ton of stress in my life during September, and this weekend was a great way to end September and start off October. After this weekend I realized I have a lot going for myself, but that I also have a lot of loose ends in my life that I need to clean up. Although I have many friends in relationships, I don't have to HAVE one as well. Single life has worked out for me just fine, and I need to stop looking at the negatives of being single and start looking at the positives.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Sunday Lunch Date

What a long weekend it has been. Bachelor part on wed, rehersal dinner on thursday, wedding friday, and then just pong with friends last night. I'm going to wait till tomorrow (like always) to reflect on this weekends events, but in the mean time I have a huge thing weighing on my mind...

Last week i mentioned that I had a plan to "keep the fire going" with Jesse. Well, I never really had an opportunity to put this plan in place, but then again, I never really tried that hard. Rejection is a hard thing for me to face, as i'm sure it is for everyone, so I'm having a slight fear of throwing myself out there with this plan, because I just don't want to hear that two letter word that starts with N. Speaking of that fear, I was recently texting and ex asking if she wanted to hang out. Not as a date, i just had an extra ticket to the baseball game and couldn't find anyone to go with me, so I was just going down a list. Well, she couldn't go but said that we should go to dinner sometime soon. So of course I agreed.

Here is a quick run down of my past with this girl. Met her at a restaurant. Things started really casual and only texted every once in awhile. Hung out one time and things just caught fire. Hungout regularly for about 3 months when her dad was diagnosed with cancer. Also, she was moving to West Virgina for school in August. So in an effort to spend as much time with her dad, the family, and her friends before she left, things with me were the last thing on her mind. She moved back to CO earlier this year. And now here we are.

Well, we never decided on a dinner, but while drunk texting my entire address book on firday night, I secured a lunch date for earlier today. Now i always hear of people who seperate but then see each other again and "never skip a beat". What does that mean exactly?? Lunch for me today was just ok. Rach looked great, but I just didn't know what to think of what was going on. Was this a date? Like and actual date? or nothing more than a friend date? How do you know without asking? But if i ask, and it really wasn't a date, then will things be weird? So many questions!!

Lunch only last a little over an hour and when I dropped Rach off back home, we hugged and she told me to text her when I got home. Of course I did, and I told her it was good to see her. She text back with, "It was great to see you." But never mentioned that we should do it again, or anything like that. So i'm thinking that it was probably just "ok" for her too, whether this was a date or just a friends date. I'm gonna try and not think about it much, but just keep things the way they started with us in the very beginning... casually texting.

Untill tomorrow... Night ya'll.