Monday I got a call from an ex girlfriend, and not just any ex, but THE EX.
I haven't talked about her at all on this blog, because things had ended before I started writing. But this particular ex, Elisa, we my college sweetheart. We dated for 3 years, and when we broke up, it was an absolute mess of a break up. She dated another guy for about 10 months and he was a psycho! I know that he would hit her because she would call me up every couple months, drunk, after they had had a big fight, and tell me thing s he had done. Or maybe he never really did hit her, because she was pretty much a pathological liar. I know this when we were together. She would lie about everything, and towards the end, I started to catch the lies, and then I started to not trust her, and I eventually told her I didn't trust her and that I couldn't be with someone I didn't trust. But I think this guy made things worse, and sometime I think he some how brain washed her.
After her and this guy broke up, she started calling me again because I was the only one who would answer. She had lost every friend she had because of this guy, and she knew I would answer and listen to her. I love this girl. Always have, and always will. We started to get closer again over the next few months and hooked up a few times, but never started dating again.
The guy she had been dating moved to Texas, and last January, she decided she missed him and moved down there with him. I wasn't sure what was happening between us, but I knew I still loved her, and it really hurt for her to just up and leave for that guy again. After that, I dated a few girls, and eventually got serious with one girl. But there was a huge problem. I had a girlfriend who I really liked, but Elisa was really good at calling me every 3 months when she was first with this guy, and just like clock work, she called me 3 months after she moved to Texas. It was like she was always trying to keep me on a hook. And let me tell you, it worked. Because although I really liked this girl, I always knew, and could even admit to myself, that if Elisa came back, I would drop my current girlfriend in a heart beat,
I haven't heard from Elisa in a very long time till Monday, but just like every other time she has called, it brings me back to every memory we ever shared. 3 years is a WHOLE LOT of memories. I swear, the past 2 days, I've heard this song like 12 times...
I hate how something so simple like a phone call can bring feelings back. I don't know if I will ever truly be over this girl, but maybe. I just kinda hurt again and I don't really know why. I know she's not good for me, but a part of me still wants her back and wants to relive everything I shared with her. There really isn't a place in Colorado that doesn't remind me of her. I used to feel like the only way I was going to forget was if I got away from here, and Monday phone call brought that idea back into my head.
Is it really possible to get over someone by covering up and writing over memories, or is the only way to start fresh where there are no memories at all?
I think the fault in your question lies in the fact that you seem to think to "get over" someone, you have to do away with memories, either by "writing over" or by "starting fresh where there are no memories." I don't claim to be a love expert, but it's been my experience and the experience of friends that EVENTUALLY, you can stay in a place and have the memories but not get so hurt by them. After awhile, when I remember things that happen with people, both ex lovers and ex close friends, I'm happy to remember them. It reminds me of a different time, and as someone who believes we are a sum of all our experiences, it reminds me how I got to be the awesome person I am today. (Sorry...did you really expect me to post an entire serious post without ANY sarcasm?) You really loved this girl and your love sounds like it was intense and it lasted a long time. The stuff I'm talking about, where you can be at peace with the memories, will probably not happen for a long time for you. I just don't think you should see it as a zero sum game. You shouldn't feel like you have to let go of the memories to "get over" this girl. It will just happen eventually, even though no one can predict when.
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