Questions You Least Expect

Yesterday a friend of mine at work emailed me saying she needed some dating advice. I was totally up for this because I tend to think of myself as pretty good at dating . I can't garantee total success, that's why I won't clame to be an expert. By no means do I know, or pretend to know everything, but I know a lot about the dating scene. I go out on TONS of dates. On the other hand, I have proven to not be so good at relationships as you have read.

Anyways, when my friend arrives at my cube, she completely shocked me with how SHE started the conversation... "So, i've been seeing this girl"

HELLOOOOOOO! Didn't expect that one!


So after struggling through some constant images of girl on girl action, I tried to give the best advice I could.

Yes, I'm a man, so when a girl tells me she is dating another girl, I automatically have girl on girl images in my mind.

The question came down to this... When is it ok to have the "Where is this going talk".

My friend mentioned that she met this girl on Halloween.

How ironic. Seems like I was not the only one that had a successfull halloween.

I thought about this for a little bit and probably mumbled out some pointless crap, but I eventually got some good points out. In my opinion, anytime before 2 months is a bad time to have this kind of chat. The first couple of months you are still trying to get to know each other. You are still trying to get a feel for if this is more than a physical attraction or not. Let's be honest with ourselves, everyone starts dating someone they don't know based on their looks. If you didn't find them attractive, you wouldn't blindly hand out your number and start talking to them. I think after a few months of hanging out, it is totally acceptable to bring up the question "where is this going". Because no one wants to spend more than a couple months out of the game if they know the bench they are sitting on isn't worth it.

Here are a couple instances when I think it is also acceptable to bring up this talk:

1) Their friends start throwing around the term "boyfriend/girlfriend" very loosely in front of this other person and they don't seem at all awkward or appalled. This means they are obviously ok with this term, and hence it's probably ok to ask them what might be going on for sure between the two of you.

2) You are sleeping with this person very regularly. Unless it was agreed upon from the beginning that this was just a friends with benefits thing, again, I think this is an appropriate cause to the serious conversation. Everyone deserves the right to know if the sex is more than just "emotional attachment-less" sex.

3) One of you live out of state, or at least a significant distance away from each other. This might be more along the lines of a "Can this actually last" talk, but it still calls for a serious talk if you are seeing this person everytime you are in town together.

4) Offering to move in with one another. I think this one is a given, but if you haven't had that talk at this point and still don't know... HAVE THE TALK!


These are just a few of the things that come to mind for me. Anyone else know something the rest of us should know as well?


Welp, I'm off to dinner with Ivy. She had a really crappy day, so i'm gonna take her out and make her feel appreciated. Don't let my "man whore" blogs cloud your vision. I really am a nice guy and treat girls like royalty.