I was talking to a friend earlier today and somewhere in the conversation she got to talking about sitting on the couch cuddling up and not going out to the bars so much. I started to agree with her when she just laughed at me. Now it wasn't a little chuckle laugh, it was one of those laughs where is she was drinking something, she probably would have spit it all over the place.
I ask her why she laughed, and she said "Ryan, there is never a weekend when you don't go to the bars. I don't even have to text you anymore and ask what you are doing on a weekend night, because I already know"
"Ok, ok. So yes I go out every weekend. What's the big deal?" I asked.
She then goes on to tell me, in a long, round about way, that she could never see me just wanting to stay in cuddling on the couch with someone, because I am talking about a different woman every week and always trying to meet new ones.
I laughed this off at first and drove the conversation in a different direction, but now that this has sat in my head and brewed for a few hours, this is really bothering me. K's points were valid points yes, but that doesn't mean I don't have other wants and desires.
First, yes I go out every weekend. But that's because I'm a very social and outgoing person. I would much rather go out and meet new people then sit at home all alone and be bored out of my mind. Maybe I just have ADD, but i constantly have to be doing something or I get bored very easy. So there's that argument.
Second, just because I go out doesn't mean I would like to sit on the couch one night, cuddle up with someone special, and just enjoy a relaxing evening, while throwing in a few long make out sessions ;-)
Everyone enjoys that, at least i think so. But in order for that to happen, you have to meet that person that you want to sit down on the couch with. Which leads me to my next point.
Yes I am always talking about new women, but again, that's because whenever I meet someone, they totally seem fascinating at first, but maybe they only gave me their number because they were drunk. Or maybe after talking to them, they really aren't that interesting. I meet new women all the time because i haven't met THE WOMAN yet. Hence my single status. I am not single by choice, that is just what I have been given right now.
I am a totally nice guy, and I will play that card till the end. I'm not like some guy who can be an asshole and get any woman they want. I certainly have my asshole moments, but I was raised to respect a woman and treat her like a queen. So that's why I'm nice. Yes I have my fair share of sexual escapades, but I wasn't an asshole to get the girl to sleep with me. Nor am I an asshole after. Just because I stop talking to a girl, or am looking for new girls to meet, doesn't mean I'm on a sexual conquest of any sort. It just means that the right girl hasn't come around and stayed around yet. But that doesn't mean I'm just going to sit around and wait for the right one to fall in my lap, because I know that's doesn't happen. I have to keep trying to meet her. I see nothing wrong with meeting new women in search of my true love. I see it just like baking. Just because you fucked up a dish one time, does that mean you should stop trying to cook it? NO! Keep making that shit till it turns out the way you want it to.
Before I'm done ranting. I just want to say... WTF K?? Way to make me feel down tonight and remind myself that yea, I wish I had someone to say I love you to. I wish I had someone I could look forward to seeing every day, or other day, or what ever. I wish I could kiss the same pair of lips over and over again. I wish i didn't have to go to the bars every weekend to scope out new talent. And yea... I fucking wish I had someone to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie with on a Friday or Saturday night!!! THANKS!
Also a thanks to Rachel for taking the words right out of my mouth in here Wednesday night post here.
HAPPY HUMP DAY!!
I see your point... but I also see "k"s point too.... Do you REALLY think you're going to meet the girl who wants to stay in on a couch out at a bar? I think those girls want to be out every night too and are usually into the party scene. I agree you shouldn't stay in waiting for her to come, but you also don't find the marrying type at a bar....
ReplyDeleteWell, you just completely shut me up there, with your baking comment. :) That was pretty brilliant. And pretty "stumping" because I kinda have nothing for ya.
ReplyDeleteWell Celeste, Iagree with what you are saying that the "bar type" girls definitely want to go out and party and not sit on the couch, but I meet women other ways as well, not just at the bar. The conversation was just surrounded by "bar" so I guess i was making sound like that is the only place I look and meet women. It's really not.
ReplyDeleteDon't let K get to you! You know who you are and you know there is a woman who will fulfill everything you are looking for. That woman who wants to go out but also stay in, we do exist. I completely understand the search. I don't know anyone who chooses to be single. You are right don't give up, she's out there.
ReplyDeleteOh I feel your pain on this one. I wrote a post similar to this a while back and got a rude comment from some guy about how my problem was that I was looking to pick up men in a bar and that I would never get a relationship that way. He then suggested that I should meet men while grocery shopping instead. Right.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, while I agree that the girl throwing back shots and dancing on top of the bar probably isn't the best bet for relationship material, I disagree that you never have a chance of meeting a good person in a bar. Where I live, there aren't many places to go to meet 20-somethings. The bars are some of the only places where people my age go to hang out. I've had more luck meeting people in bars than I have meeting people at the gym, the grocery store, or through co-workers. Heck I'll use myself as an example, it's safe to say I'm at the bars at least one night every weekend, but that is because I'm a social person who loves to be out with my friends and meet new people. Just because I like to go to bars doesn't mean that I get wasted every night and that's all I'm interested in doing, it just means that I like to go out and socialize. I still like to hang out on the couch and watch movies, but there is a balance. In my opinion, where you meet people doesn't necessarily determine what kind of "relationship" people they are. You could meet a girl in church who isn't the marrying kind or you could meet a girl in a bar who is.
I kind of lost track of the point I was trying to make, but I guess it was that you sound like you wouldn't be happy with a girl who only wants to stay in. You are a social person who probably wants a girl who is willing to stay in, but also go out with you. I don't think you will meet that girl by staying in and doing nothing. Don't get down on yourself because you haven't found that special someone yet. She will come along. Your baking comment pretty much says it all.